The downside to personal development

I had been coaching Lin for 3 months when she said,

“I thought working on changing my life would be a positive experience but all I feel is lost. The life I had before we started working together no longer fits comfortably.”

It's understandable that as you grow and make changes in your life, you experience a rollercoaster of highs, lows, and challenging moments. You are purposefully stepping out of the cosy cocoon of your comfort zone and into the unknown.

The personal growth journey is exhilarating, but sometimes it feels like you're caught in a tug-of-war. The allure of the familiar is heightened by increased negative mind chatter telling you that, “you’ve done enough, you can stop now”, or “someone like you can’t have... [insert the appropriate word], or “you don’t have time for this now – maybe in six months.”  

Decisions that once flowed on autopilot now require a degree of mental gymnastics to overcome. Overthinking, worry, and anxiety can make even the simplest day-to-day decisions exhausting as you learn to enquire curiously, “How will this positively impact the person I’m becoming?”

As you evolve, so do your relationships.

Some friends and family members will support and encourage your growth, whereas others may react negatively to you changing the status quo. It can be a lonely journey at times. Feeling that you are in no-mans-land; not the person you were but also not the person you want to be. Some relationships fall away but are not replaced by new, affirming relationships more aligned with who you are becoming.    

Opening up and sharing your authentic self is a beautiful aspect of personal growth. Yet it requires a huge amount of vulnerability, which can leave you feeling exposed and fragile. It takes courage and effort to show up without the familiarity of the masks and shields that help you navigate your days.  

These are some of the hurdles you will have to overcome on your journey to greatness. There is light at the end of the tunnel, but there are also shadows cast by this light which can make it difficult to see the beauty of what you are working towards.

If you can learn to embrace the shadows, overcome your fears and keep focused on taking one tiny step at a time, you’ll be amazed at how you can keep moving forward, despite these challenges.