Soul Goals vs Ego Goals

Collectively, human beings carry the belief that our happiness, fulfillment, success, or purpose are dependent upon successfully arriving at a predefined destination. What if, instead of tying our happiness, success, and well-being to outcomes, we focus on the learning implicit in the journey?

Tony Robbins, in his book Awaken the Giant Within states that, “Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible.”

‍If you want to change, not just in words but on a personal level, you must shift your focus from your vision to your goals.

Goals are specific targets that move you toward your vision but keep you rooted in the process.

They are the object of your ambition or effort, an aim or desired result. If your goals stay the same, you will continue to think and behave in a way that meets the same basic needs in your current life. Setting your goals alters your thoughts which drives new behaviour in a way that helps you achieve your desired aspirations. 

Most of us only know how to set ego goals. You know the ones—they are your to-do list items that you strive to check off to attain praise and approval from others. Western culture has a tradition of associating success with power, status, money, and acquiring possessions. That is why we traditionally set ego goals by looking at what others are doing or achieving and then emulating them to feel successful.

Ego goals are driven by how we look to the outside world, not how we feel inside once our goals are achieved.

There is an emphasis on winning and gaining rather than growth, development, learning, and becoming better humans. When we set ego goals, our focus is usually on how we can alleviate the stress in our lives.

They are the things our inner critics tell us that we should or must do to be accepted and validated by the external world. When we reach these goals, we almost always find ourselves feeling like there is something missing or experiencing a fleeting moment of achievement before moving on to the next goal. This is because we are chasing the wrong type of goals, ones that take us outside of ourselves.

Soul goals are achievements that inspire and get you excited about life.

They are based on your values and focused on elevating yourself and growing into a new level of consciousness. They support the vision for who you are becoming and the life you are building for yourself.  

Think about the last time you were passionate about something important to you. No matter how many obstacles you encountered, you didn’t give up, you figured out a way to overcome and move forward. You were pursuing this goal not for validation or fame, but because it lit you up, fed your soul, and provided intrinsic value that you can’t quantify. Likely you were focused on a soul goal at this moment.  

To better understand if your goal is an ego goal or a soul goal, take the time to be honest with yourself. Why do you want to achieve this goal? Do you believe achieving this goal will help you become a better person, grow your consciousness, and live a life according to your values, or is your goal driven by recognition, power, status, wealth, and other external factors?

Ego goals are not “bad.” Striving to earn money and focusing on advancing your career, for example, are no less important than focusing on a soul goal such as bringing your values to life in your relationships. The point is to be mindful of how your goals are shaping and impacting your behaviour, energy, and time. 

Focusing exclusively on ego goals can have a negative long-term impact on your mental health and well-being because they drain your energy and keep you trapped in a cycle of chasing the external accumulation of titles, status, and money to feel successful, loved, and a sense of belonging. 

This endless pursuit is exhausting. Soul goals are enriching because they bring you home to yourself. They connect you with your inner wisdom and bring patience, compassion, and acceptance to the relationships in your life. The more authentic you become, the easier it is to move away from ego goals and closer to your soul goals.