Finding balance: how to achieve a harmonious life amid stress and demands

To the outside world, Sam was a successful account manager for a digital marketing company. Inside Sam was stressed out, exhausted, and unhappy. 

The demands of life had been growing steadily for months. Work was becoming increasingly demanding and taking up more and more time. Nights had become consumed with self-critical thoughts and anxiety. Days were something to endure and seemed to pass in a blur. Sam’s health was starting to suffer and relationships at home were strained. Life had begun to lose its joy. Sam didn't feel depressed, just stuck, and dissatisfied: how had life gotten to this point? Sam desperately wanted to be happy and to feel balanced and at peace but just didn’t know how to get there.

Sam’s story is not unique. It might even sound familiar. One moment you are happily plodding along through life, feeling content, and then subtly things start to shift. Before you know it, you’re feeling stressed; there’s too much to do and not enough time. The pace of life seems relentless. Even after a good night’s sleep or a holiday, you don’t feel fully recharged. There may not have been any significant life changes, but somehow, you’ve got to the point where joy and happiness have been replaced by stress, anxiety, low energy, and diminishing health. 

Pretty much everyone I know can associate with a variation of Sam’s story. When I ask friends, clients, and family what they most want for their lives, they tell me that they want more time, financial security, and a better work-life balance. 

Balance looks different for everyone but for most of us, it means more time to do the meaningful things in life. It means freedom, flexibility, control over work boundaries, more time to indulge in hobbies and relationships that bring us joy, and taking ownership of our health and finances. Balance makes us feel centered, fulfilled, and serene. Yet finding balance is elusive for many of us. 

One of the reasons for this is that so many of us spend our lives doing things to seek the approval and acceptance of others. We focus on the next promotion, buying a larger house, going on holiday, meeting the love of our life, the list is endless. Whilst these life-wins provide fleeting moments of fulfillment and satisfaction, they are transitory feelings that offer a temporary fix to a bigger problem. 

So, you may ask; why do we chase these achievements if they are not giving us what we truly desire? The answer lies in what we know about reinforcing behaviour. Any behaviour that is reinforced positively is likely to be repeated even if it diminishes overall well-being and that's why balance can’t be found externally. It is an internal state of being. Unless you prepare yourself physically, mentally, and spiritually, you will be forever running on a hamster wheel of discontent.   

The good news is that replenishing and restoring balance to your internal state of being is a lot easier than you might think, and contrary to what fear might tell you, it doesn't have to take up lots of your time.