Unlocking work/life balance

Work/life balance

It is rare to create the perfect balance in life. Few people live in their ideal location, with their perfect partner, work at their dream job, and never have health or money concerns. Most of us live a life that is a juggled, smudged compromise with beauty hidden amongst dirty laundry. 

Each of us is navigating the challenge that is life, pursuing the elusive happiness, balance, fulfilment, and success. It’s common for many of us to pin our identity and well-being on the external accumulation of titles, possessions, money, and relationships. Telling ourselves that “I will be happy if…” or, “I’ll do the thing that I love when...” We compare ourselves to others, unrealistic stereotypes, and society-driven milestones, to push ourselves harder and further so we don't feel like we are failing or being left behind. 

By unconsciously striving towards externalised goals, we neglect our inner world and lose touch with that which makes us truly happy and fulfilled. 

Balance is abandoned in the pursuit of perceived fulfilment. We buy into the common misconception that we must sacrifice certain parts of our lives to fulfill others. Relationships lack any real connection because they are not nurtured and are entered into inauthentically, with ulterior intentions. Self-love is too often swept aside as selfish or the preaching of hippies. Step by step, day by day we find ourselves losing pace and unable to keep sustaining the illusion and the pursuit. There is a growing yearning from within and the voice saying, "There must be more?" 

There is more. It is just not out there; it is in you. The one thing that will bring you happiness, balance, fulfillment, and success is within you. 

Importance of work/life balance

Seeking inspiration from my journey and years of working as a coach, I was inspired to build intogreat to serve as both a guide and an inspiration to individuals who have looked at themselves and dare to want more for their life.

intogreat is an exploration of the eight areas of our lived experience that if you focus on and make changes to will empower you to overcome your fears, embrace your imperfections, make the most of every moment of your life without exhausting yourself, and find work/life balance.

All aspects of your life are interdependent and interlinked. Everything influences the other. 

A bad relationship can shatter your confidence. A lack of self-love can keep you playing small. Poor health can compromise everything. A negative mindset can ruin your career. You can’t trade one aspect of your life to achieve success in another. If you want to live a more balanced, happy, and fulfilled life, you must view life holistically. This can be achieved by focusing on eight areas of your life, which we know from science, directly impact your experience of stress, happiness, and well-being. Neglecting any of them will eventually lead to familiar feelings of stress, overwhelm, and not being where you want to be, which is why we advocate for a holistic approach.

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What I know from personal experience and coaching hundreds of clients is that finding work/life balance is personal, it is not a linear process and no single approach fits everybody. To truly transform your life requires commitment, perseverance, and action.

I realised a few years ago that I had spent far too many years of my life never truly feeling good. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve lived a full life with lots of high points as I chased happiness and success. I was outwardly very successful and spent a lot of time comparing myself to what others were doing, and society-driven milestones which I’d use to push myself harder and further, so I didn’t feel like a failure or that I was being left behind. 

Whilst I experienced amazing things that made me feel happy and fulfilled, they were always fleeting moments wedged between feelings of stress and dissatisfaction. I realise now that most of my life was consumed with work and external achievement. I had very little time for myself and those that I love. I was always striving to reach the top. Achieving my goals, and then instantly moving on to the next thing, in search of something that I knew was missing but could not articulate. 

Living my life in pursuit of external validation eventually caught up with me. I found myself on the edge of burnout trying to save a struggling business, in an abusive marriage, and isolated from friends and family because of a global pandemic. I felt lost, alone, stuck, and completely overwhelmed. I was playing the game of life in the way that was expected, so why wasn’t I feeling happy and successful because outwardly that’s how my life looked? 

How to find work/life balance

To say my life has transformed over the last couple of years would be an understatement. Nowadays, I wake up fulfilled and happy, better able to manage stress, and truly able to say that I have achieved a work/life balance.

I often wonder what the key to shifting things in my life was. I realise that there wasn’t one key, but a culmination of several things. The pandemic made me realise that tomorrow isn’t guaranteed so if I wanted more for myself, then it was now or never. 

I found the self-love and courage to take the first steps to change my life through therapy and coaching. The tools, insight, and support from this empowered me to face my fears and let the people in my life who love me, help me. I committed to doing the work needed to shed the old narratives and masks that I had accumulated over the years, which were no longer serving me. I went on a journey of self-exploration with compassion and forgiveness, not judgment. I started practicing yoga and learned how to move out of my head and into my body. I slowed down long enough to appreciate the beauty, joy, and love that I have in my life. It’s humbling when you finally realise that the thing you have been searching for is yourself. 

I know that my story is not unique. The experience of doing everything “right” and still ending up lost, dissatisfied, and searching for more is something I regularly discuss with my clients, friends, and family. Many of them feel trapped in their despair because they have responsibilities that they can’t run away from. They must pay their bills, feed themselves, and show up for those who need them. They also don’t want to rip up their life and start again because not everything is bad, it just isn’t great. This stress eventually starts to erode their health, quality of relationships, and overall enjoyment of life. 

When you find yourself in this situation it is normal to feel stuck and overwhelmed. It is difficult to know how to make a change and where to start because there are so many people selling expensive and impractical advice. I spent so much of my time, energy, and money trying a lot of snake oil before I found what worked for me, which is why I was inspired to create intogreat. 

There might not be a standard blueprint for work/life balance, everyone’s journey is unique, but I’ve seen and experienced enough to be able to guide you on your journey. 

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Everything within intogreat is designed to be a source of hope and inspiration to take a leap of faith in yourself. You will find knowledge, stories of success and struggle, a framework, and tools. Use them to reflect on your life, turn your fears into great insights, change the way you think, feel, and act, and transform the landscape of your relationships and life. I encourage you to use whatever you find useful and leave what isn’t resonating.

It is not about, “when you get there,” or navigating your journey perfectly. Right here, at this moment, you are great. Keep daring to live with this mindset, and everything around you will transform.