The 3 stages of processing change: Navigating challenges effectively

Some people naturally rise when faced with a challenge whereas others panic, feel helpless, or are overcome with anxiety. Our ability to sink or swim is dependent upon our frame of reference and upbringing. The outlook you have of the world, the quality and availability of social resources, and the coping mechanisms you learned and adopted in your life based on your past experience, will all impact how you adapt to change. 

As life throws challenges in our path, everyone naturally cycles through the three stages below when processing and dealing with change. These three stages are inspired by the Change Curve model originally developed in the 1960s by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross: 

1. The first stage is being faced with the challenge. In this stage, we realise that our current reality is changing, which can bring up feelings of uncertainty, confusion, frustration, and denial. This is when fear of the unknown is at its highest as we sink below our Line. Some people can stay in this stage for quite a while, living in denial, confused, and resisting moving forward. They may never find a way to accept and move on to the next stage. Other people rush through this stage, finding it extremely difficult to sit with the discomfort of their emotions, so they jump to response and acceptance. Others still may see-saw between stages one and two, and at times it might feel like you are taking one step forward and two steps back. This stage can be difficult to move through because it often requires taking time to grieve what we are losing as a result of the change or challenge. It requires facing and processing our emotions and feelings, which can be difficult for a lot of us. 

2. The second stage is to respond. This is when our resilience is awakened. Where we begin to lift our heads, tap into our creativity to problem solve, look for opportunities to grow, and give space to process our emotions. It is in this stage that we begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel and start to move towards being above our Line. Some people move to this stage quickly, whereas for others it might take quite a while to move out of fear and into possibility. Self-love, balance, and compassion are vital as you navigate this stage. Any emotions that you don’t process will eventually surface, whether subconsciously in relationships, through chronic illness, mental health difficulties, or burnout. Take the time to process your fears and work through any resistance, so that you can sufficiently move onto the next stage. 

3. The final stage is acceptance. You may still be unsure of the future, but your ability to be above your Line, more positive, and rebuild is strengthened. You can embrace the learnings and discoveries about yourself and others and use past challenges to inform innovative ways for how you move forward. It is a place where you begin to bounce back, recover, and become creative about what is next for you.  

As you navigate the inevitable challenges that life presents, it is important to remember that change is a journey, not a destination. By acknowledging your emotions, and offering yourself compassion, you can gradually embrace any change in your life.