Embrace self-acceptance: Unleash your greatness by loving yourself fully

In order to unleash your greatness, you have to learn to love and accept yourself.

It is essential that you discover, claim, own, and accept your imperfect self, even the parts that you dislike or hate, without trying to manipulate and change the source of your being. This simply means looking at, what I like to call, your ‘unskillful’ parts, and loving them without conditions or strings attached. 

It’s not “I will love myself when I achieve XYZ” or “when I become...” or “when I get rid of…” It’s saying to yourself, “I know I am not perfect. I know I have flaws and I am willing to accept all of these different parts of myself and love them for what they are because all parts of me hold important information about who I am, what I stand for, what I am passionate about, and what I value in life.”

We often look at people who accept and celebrate themselves with disdain. We may label them as being self-involved, selfish, or self-centered. Learning to embrace self-acceptance doesn’t mean you’re an egomaniac. It simply enables you to be loving, kind, and accepting of yourself when you are at your lowest. 

This is important because having a high level of self-acceptance is fundamental for your overall mental health and well-being.

It is also important because if you want to form strong and healthy relationships with others, you first must develop a kind, loving, supportive, and accepting relationship with all parts of yourself.

It can be difficult embracing self-acceptance because society teaches us from a young age that we should accept only the “good” parts of ourselves, the parts that are celebrated and rewarded, whilst hiding and rejecting the “bad” parts of ourselves, the parts that don’t measure up to the “rules.” 

According to an article by Gareth Cook, “Why We Are Wired to Connect,” in Scientific America, neurobiologically we are programmed for connection, so it is understandable that in pursuit of belonging and connecting with others, we may hide parts of ourselves, particularly when we have done things we regret or are ashamed of. Self-acceptance doesn’t mean that you approve or condone any harmful or bad behaviour or choices you have made. It means that you can forgive yourself for your mistakes and wrongdoings.  

Self-acceptance comes from understanding that you are not your behaviours, actions, and qualities. They are a part of you, but they are not you. You have patterns to unlearn, new behaviours to embody, and wounds to heal, but there is nothing wrong with the core of who you are. You don’t need fixing; you need to remember love, and this takes time. 

Accepting and loving all of yourself goes beyond the mind. You can’t simply decide to accept and love yourself; it requires commitment and dedication.

From experience, therapy, and inner child work have had a huge impact on my life. Diving into your past in order to clear space for you to move forward, is a beautiful gift, if available to you. However, therapy isn’t something that everyone can afford, and the process of going inward and taking stock is one that not everyone is ready for.

This doesn’t mean that self-acceptance is forever out of your reach. A great place to start is making space in your life to celebrate and acknowledge you and your successes.

It is perfectly normal to continuously want to make improvements and become a better version of yourself, but it’s also very easy to overlook what you're already great at and where you're winning a life. The practice of appreciation is something you can start right now, to help kick-start your journey to self-acceptance. 

Complete the following sentence. You can say this out loud or silently to yourself.

I really appreciate __________ about myself. 

Speaking words of appreciation toward yourself allows you, over time, to become kinder, more graceful, and more accepting of yourself. It allows you to truly appreciate who you are, flaws and all and reminds you of the things you are great at, which builds confidence. 

Once you feel self-acceptance, you are empowered to discover the infinite power of your greatness.