What is self-love?

When we talk about self-love, we mean unapologetically loving every part of yourself, as you are right now. Not when you lose 10 lbs., or when you get that promotion, or when you find your soulmate. Self-love means accepting all parts of yourself, even the parts that you don't like, without the need to change. It is treating yourself with kindness, empathy, and respect, and giving yourself grace and space to always evolve.

Self-love is getting to know different aspects of yourself. It’s being grounded in a deep knowing, understanding, and appreciation of your unique essence, and honoring the beauty of who you are. You don’t look for approval or acceptance externally because you trust yourself implicitly.

You don’t make yourself small to fit into a family, relationship, job, or community because you have aligned yourself with people, situations, and circumstances that lift you up and reflect your love for yourself, back to you. 

You know how to love yourself the way you want to be loved, so you don’t look to others to do this for you because you are the source of love. Everything you need, you give to yourself because you love yourself unconditionally. 

This is self-love and it is one of the hardest components of everyone's journey to greatness. 

True self-love is so rarely modeled in our lives and society. Social media and popular culture show us a picture of only our perfect selves or experiences and build a perception of ourselves based on objectification. Society tells us to love ourselves from the outside inward. Only people or circumstances can make us happy and feel successful and loved. 

This results in many of us spending billions of dollars to fix, improve, and change ourselves in pursuit of finding or manifesting the right people or circumstances that make us feel accepted and loved. Self-love manifests from the inside out. When you truly love yourself, you stop looking externally for any form of acceptance or love. You are grounded in an unwavering belief that you have the inner resources and wisdom to go and build the life you deserve and want. 

Most people mistakenly believe that if they have self-love, this will bring them happiness.

Self-love may bring you happiness, but it’s freedom that it delivers.

Freedom from spending your life looking externally for the answers. Freedom from endlessly searching outwardly for love and peace. Self-love is not something you get, it’s a process that you have to go through. Expect to feel anger, pain, grief, despair, loneliness, compassion, trust, joy, and connection as you meet yourself, your history, and your deepest desires. 

Self-love is an ongoing practice that evolves because we, as humans, evolve. We have different needs at different points in our lives, and embracing self-love as a practice empowers you to lean into self-love in different ways, as your needs change. 

The ultimate practice of self-love… well, it’s perfectly balancing what you need today with what your future self needs tomorrow.