Vulnerability vs. Authenticity

The difference between vulnerability and authenticity

Vulnerability and authenticity are vital to connection because they help establish trust and deep love within your relationships. However, many of us confuse authenticity with vulnerability because they are so closely intertwined.

What is vulnerability?

Vulnerability is a feeling associated with taking a personal, professional, or social risk that exposes you to potentially being hurt, laughed at, ridiculed, teased, or embarrassed. It is speaking the truth about your beliefs, values, personal story, hopes, feelings, and dreams, with no idea what the outcome or response will be, in service of connection. Others might judge you, not agree with you, and use your truth against you, yet you’re willing to take the risk and express what is real for you  because being vulnerable is the magic in relationships. 

What is authenticity?

Authenticity is operating from the inside out regardless of what others might think. It is the act of being true to your purpose and values regardless of the pressure around you. When you are being authentic, you are merely expressing what is inside of you without the need to defend your opinions or stance. It is being honest with people about who you are and what matters to you, and being willing to express that voice even if it’s not popular among others.

Both vulnerability and authenticity are scary concepts. 

One of our fundamental basic needs is to belong and to feel connected to other human beings. This goal is fraught with difficulty because the deep connection is conditional upon vulnerability and opening ourselves up to potential judgment, criticism, and rejection.  

For many of us, our jobs and being a part of certain groups often make us abandon ourselves and make us feel estranged from our authentic selves. We feel “forced” to behave in ways that we do not feel comfortable with because we fear how we will be viewed at work by our colleagues and superiors. 

Being rejected or abandoned when you have shown your authentic self to another is more painful than when you have not presented yourself authentically, but it pales in comparison to the pain of never truly being seen or known by others. The risk is worth the reward. To feel truly loved, cared for, and respected we must expose ourselves completely and absolutely, no matter the risk.

How you show up authentically in life is different for everyone because we each have our own unique background and lived experiences. A great place to start if you want to live more authentically is to take time to consider what authenticity means to you. Then check out our blog for more tips on how to live an authentic life.